Monday, February 28, 2005
This morning I was amused to find the only ticket-operated gate leading into Ruislip Station blocked by a gentleman frantically pulling at an obstruction. It was his bicycle. He could not push it past the gates. He could not pull it back. The alarm was ringing but none of the station staff could be bothered to attend. People used the emergency gate to reach the platform while Pether huffed and puffed, and pulled and pushed.
My amusement did not last very long. There were no Piccadilly trains ("signal failure at Arnos Grove" got its regular airing) so I came to work the long way round via Baker Street and was half an hour late. I wonder how Mr Pether got on.
Friday, February 18, 2005
I would dearly love to wander through that green and quiet landscape of the near past. Traces remain, including the parks and open land that runs along much of the railway today, making it possible to imagine the rest. But those days when the railway was the lifeline, and the horse and cart (and the bicycle) the only alternatives, ah, those days we shall see no more. At least not until the oil runs out.
Monday, February 14, 2005
The Northern Line has delays occurring in both directions.
This will affect journeys from 07:13 on 14/02/05 until further notice.
This is due to a lack of available trains.
Message Received: 14/2/2005 7:13:02 AM
Hammersmith & City line
The Hammersmith & City Line has delays occurring in both directions.
This will affect journeys from 11:26 on 14/02/05 until further notice.
This is due to non-availability of staff.
Message Received: 14/2/2005 11:26:39 AMSo one line is out because it has staff but no trains and the other because it has trains but no staff. Brilliant. I can imagine all the Northern line drivers hanging around in the despatcher's office, drinking tea and dunking custard creams while they check out the racing pages in the papers.
"Bad business on the 'ammersmith, Jim. No staff to drive the trains."
"Shocking Alf, simply shocking. And 'ere we are with no trains. Pass us another biscuit"
"So what shall we do this afternoon Jim? Fancy going down Hammersmith Palais? Oh no, we can't, there aren't any trains running due to shortage of staff. Never mind, we can stay here and watch tele"
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
I blame the transport controllers from the planet Tharg, who are conducting a century long experiment into just how much irritation sentient beings can take before going beserk.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
a tube train chuntering along in the outer suburbs.
A commuter, minding his own business (played by your humble servant)
An idiot (played by an idiot)
So there I am reading the paper and I become aware that the idiot sitting three seats along is shouting numbers into the air. I glance around and note that he is using a mobile. He repeats the numbers and I realise this is his credit card. He goes on to announce his security code, expiry date, and his name and address.
So now I am able, should I wish, to get on my mobile and (once he leaves the carriage) put a really big crimp in his day.
Lucky for him I am basically honest. But I can't speak for the other passengers. I wonder if he has a nasty surprise in store...