Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 and all that

So, farewell then, year of the Olympics and Sir Wiggo. The year in which the "S" stock trains finally replaced the last of the half-century old "A" stock on the dear old Met line. The wettest year in England since records began and even as I pen these lines it has been raining hard all most of the day here in beautiful Ruislip. It might let up for the fireworks at midnight. A year in which I finally ceased to be a daily commuter and mutated into a sort of dilettante traveller, journeying now and then to visit the office where I laboured for so long, and where I am beginning to feel like a relic of a distant age, handing over the systems so painfully built up to a new generation to exploit. And good luck to them.

Ah well, time is passing and I've given Ed. the night off to let off a few bangers, or get wrecked down the pub or whatever it is that blog editors do when released from their ink-damp cubby-holes. He's a bit of a pedantic irritant, but cheap, so I guess I can keep him on a little longer.

A very happy new year to all my readers.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Great Fish Tank Disaster of '12

Regular readers (or even casual ones with a roving eye) will know that there is a long-standing association between your correspondent and the, frankly rather brilliant, website devoted to the cartoon character "Bristow". One of the best known features of the strip is the story of the Great Tea Trolley Disaster of '67, a catastrophe that struck the offices of the Chester-Perry Building and seared the lives of the survivors. And now real life has imitated art for, thanks to the BBC, we can read about, and gape at, the Chinese equivalent. I look forward to seeing the full report in the bumper winter number of the Communist Party House Journal.

Postscript. I did not realise that the second word in the title of this piece was "Geat" until the middle of January. Ed, your job is on the line.

Friday, December 21, 2012

The end of the world, again, (yawn)

Nutters round the world will be looking around them today going "Duh...what happened" as yet again for about the forty thousandth time in the history of homo sapiens, a group of loonies forecast the end of the world and a group of drooling morons believed them.

  • Fact - not one "ancient" writing about the end of the world has ever been true or in the slightest way relevant to anything.
  • Fact - all the people who think the end is at hand will merely roll forward the date and start panicking about that.
  • Fact - the Mayans actually forecast that today was the feast of the great Literary Rambler from the Beautiful Suburb and substantial donations of cash should be made to appease him. Scholars are not totally sure what they referred to, but anyone really worried about apocalypse should insure their survival by adhering to this remarkable wisdom. Get in touch with me for lo! I can show you the way to lighten your soul (and your bank balance).
  • Fact - not everything written above may be strictly true. 
  • [isn't there something about the need to appease the great Editor of the beautiful suburb? :Ed]

Friday, December 07, 2012

Optimistic or what?

I received an advertising flyer through the post this morning, drawing my attention to a sale at a furniture warehouse. In Southampton.
[Some ninety minutes driving away from beautiful Ruislip. I'm not going either: Ed]

Saturday, December 01, 2012


The Guardian has a feature today comparing luxury goods with a the cheapest feasible alternatives and my eye was drawn to a violet Ralph Lauren Black Label Ricky tote, which at a mere £16,195 from Harrods must surely find a way to every woman's Xmas stocking this year. But never mind the eye-watering price tag - I had not hitherto heard of the combo Ralph Lauren Black - Ralph Lauren I know but who or what is Black? Well, to some of us of a certain age, the words "Black" and "handbag" can mean only one thing - yes, the evil Mrs. Black, (Denise Coffey with sneer) armed with her horrible handbag. who threatened to take over the world so often and so memorably in the legendary TV show Do not adjust your set; thwarted only by the brilliance of the super-super-hero Captain Fantastic (David Jason in silly moustache and flasher style raincoat).

I don't know what the Harrod's version does but I think we should all be very afraid.