Monday, May 01, 2023

The Coronation - 4: Of Oaths and Allegiances

 The Coronation, that has already brought us the delights of the Coronation Quiche, continues to delight with novelties. The latest story concerns something that really is an innovation - a "Homage of the People". This will be a slot during the ceremony when all of us, peers, clergy, commoners, believers and atheists, even the editorial staff of Ramblings, will be invited by the Archbishop of Canterbury to recite a brand new declaration that goes as follows:

I swear that I will pay true allegiance to Your Majesty, and to your heirs and successors according to law. So help me God.

Well, OK, the atheists get the usual raw deal but can always substitute something for the word "God" should they wish. In my case "The statistical probability that the universe exists because there is a chance, however unlikely, that it can come spontaneously into being and therefore, given that we are here, that that chance has actually materialised, as it happens, and just as well too if you ask me". 

There is a real meaning behind the swearing of allegiance to a king. William I summoned all his peers to Old Sarum, a few years after the conquest of England, and made them swear allegiance as a reward for holding land. All titles in the peerage derive ultimately from that moment. But the oath never applied to the rest of the country, the 3 million or so English men women and children who were merely the subjects of the king.

So, as us cynical columnists might put it, "What's in it for us, Charley-boy?" Do we get tracts of land courtesy of regal graciousness? Do we get fancy titles, the right to coats of arms and to fortify our houses with walls, towers, moats and arrow-slits? Nope, we do not. 

Nit-pickers might also ponder the distinction between true allegiance and plain ordinary allegiance. Is there such a thing as false allegiance?  

As soon as the oath has been taken and a fanfare has sounded, the service continues:

The Archbishop of Canterbury will then proclaim “God Save The King”, with all asked to respond:“God Save King Charles. Long live King Charles. May the King live for ever.”

For ever? Can he be serious? Is he really asking God to make the King immortal? Why not leave it at Long live King Charles - that's fair enough, he's waited a hell of a long time to sit on that throne, he deserves a few years at least to wriggle about it, get really comfy and then get down to some serious reigning. And then, like his ancestors and indeed just like the rest of us mortals, his soul will depart to a higher plane (or whatever). 

That is what is going to take place inside Westminster Abbey. But what of the nation outside? How, exactly, will be we making our homage? We will all, of course, be watching the ceremony on TV or on suitable internet-enabled devices, and most of us will be indoors. Are we expected to go outside to share our homage with our neighbours, in a manner similar to the "Clap for Carers" campaign that enlivened the darkest days of the covid lockdown? Should we be upstanding, hands over hearts in the style so familiar from watching football teams in international competitions as their turgid national anthems are ground out over the loudspeakers? Or, in true Norman style, down upon our knees, heads bent toward the shimmering figures on the screen? Is this the moment for a selfie, to be distributed on Facebook and Instagram, showing the world that we are indeed true liegemen of his gracious Maj and truly grateful for the extra Bank Holiday his crowning has blessed us with?

After some considerable and learned discussion here at Ramblings Towers, the consensus is that a healthy swig of some suitable British ale, accompanied perhaps by a portion of peanuts representing the Commonwealth, is a worthy expression of our allegiance, nay, our true allegiance, and a fitting prelude to the quiche that will the centrepiece of the banquet to follow. Drinking, a slap-up lunch and a holiday - what a great start to His Glorious Reign

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Readers! Don't miss this sensational offer, exclusively to subscribers to this column. Be the first in your area to affirm your undying and true allegiance to His Majesty by wearing this fantastic hoodie


Available in all popular sizes and colours, only from Ramblings of Ruislip (est 2023), By Royal Appointment *. Hurry, Hurry, Hurry. Just  £83.50, plus p&p, service charge, administration fee, proof of Britishness fee, extra fee to prevent Evri couriers from nicking it and special fee to cover all the other fees we haven't had time to invent yet.

Also available - "I swore the oath and all I got was this lousy tract of land in Northumbria"

Terms and Conditions apply and will be supplied upon swearing of a oath to accept them. Failure to swear the oath may make you liable to be declared a foul traitor and have all your goods, lands and titles confiscated and put for sale on Facebook Marketplace

 

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