Quite a good title for a straight-to-dvd horror film. But this morning I very nearly found myself in a bird vs. man situation. I was sitting peacefully at my desk, unaware of the peril that stalked just outside the house. My eye was half caught by the builders who are putting up an extension on my neighbour's house about 50 yards away. Imagine my surprise when out of nowhere a pigeon hurtled straight into my face - or would have done, had it not bounced off the window that separated us.
The window was undamaged. The bird flew away, no doubt sadder and wiser and wishing it had paid more attention to its flight path. When my heart had stopped thumping from the sight of a bird momentarily flattened to the glass not two feet away I penned these few words. All is now quiet in beautiful Ruislip. The birds are outside and we are inside. All except those builders working on the roof. Should I alert them? Are they trained to react to two pounds of daft columba palumbus zooming in out of the sun and whipping the very sandwiches from their cold, trembling fingers? We can only watch, and hope.