Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Khan denies all knowledge of secret dealings

From our own correspondent in Karakorum (still desperately hoping for the posting to the Moghul Empire as promised)

President Ghengis Khan has denied any knowledge of a secret treaty with the Emperor of China said to have been negotiated by his son, Genghis Jr.  The treaty, widely announced by street criers in Beijing, has large swathes of the Mongolian border ceded to Chinese control in return for an annual caravan laden with silks, porcelain and fireworks to be transported directly to the President's pleasure palace, Xanadu.

"I didn't know nothing" the President is said to have claimed whilst attending the annual Stoning of the Rationalists convention in downtown Karakorum "My son, he is a good boy and he wouldn't do nothing to harm the interests of the great Mongolian people, at least not unless there was something really worthwhile in it for him". The President later revised his statement and insisted that the last word had been "them" and that anyone claiming otherwise was spreading false news, fake rumours and anti-Mongolian propaganda.

The President's spokesman, Zarn "the slicer" Spicer, added "Anyone saying anything at all about this might find themselves wondering why their tongue is no longer connected to the back of their mouths.  Just saying. "

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