Saying it like it is

The sports news on Radio 4's Today programme this morning covered the opening of the Winter Olympics in Korea. Someone in the British team has dropped out of something (I wasn't paying that much attention as the effort of waking up came first) but I snapped wide awake when the hapless representative went on to affirm that "Someone else will step up to the plate".

Oh, please! I know British clichés are no longer the best in the world but surely we can do better than parrot this stupid Americanism? "The Plate" means the bit where the batter stands in a game of baseball. He only has to stand there while the bowler throws a ball at him three times and then he is out, unless he has managed to hit the thing first. The plate is not particularly far from where the teams sit waiting their turn to come out nor particularly difficult to reach. There are no tanks of piranhas on either side waiting to grab a clumsily placed foot. There are no snipers up there in the "bleachers" (God, how I love that word) waiting to take out anyone who is too slow. In brief, "stepping up" to the plate is easy. It's a doddle. Anyone can do it. It takes no talent or even bravery. You can always duck, once they start chucking the ball at you.

I contend that to use this phrase to indicate the acceptance of responsibility in the face of adversity is not just lazy and ignorant but an insult to every red-blooded Briton (and if anyone knows of any Briton whose blood is not red, do get in touch). We have plenty of suitable sayings of our own based on sports we actually play and can claim to know something about. For example (and with footnotes for those many Americans I know will be eagerly seeking explanations):

• Walking out to the first tee¹
•  Marching out to the crease²
•  Striding up to the oche³
• Pedal up to the start line⁴
• Sidling up to baulk⁵
• Sticking out your hand ⁶
• Standing one's round⁷
• Shouting down the opposition⁸

and doubtless, many more

If you would like to support the Campaign for British Clichés please get in touch.

Footnotes:
1. You must know this one, surely.
2, Cricket. The crease is the line marked on the ground in front of the wicket. The wicket is made of three stumps and two bails. The stumps are ... look, there is such a thing as Google you know, you could be looking it up there instead of wasting your time here.
3. Darts. The oche is the line behind which the players must stand when throwing. Pronounced "Ocky", not to rhyme with "blotchy". Not be confused with the Scottish expression "Och, aye".
4. Cycling. Or competitive tricycling, for younger readers.
5. The baulk line on a snooker table is where the cue ball is placed for the opening shot of each game. Players don't necessarily have to sidle but late at night, with the cigarette smoke thick over the shaded green lights and the pints stacked up on the side tables, a long cool sidle is what you do when you want to intimidate your opponent. So I'm told.
6. in a "one potato, two potato" divvy-up of teams for playground football. See the Opies' excellent Lore and Language of Schoolchildren Oxford University Press 1959 for more. I suppose these days there is an app for team selecting.
7. What you do in a pub.
8. Politics