Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Go on, say you're sorry.

500 years ago a small band of Spanish thugs and some local allies arrived at the capital of the Aztec empire, the city of Tenochtitlán that is now Mexico City, and began the process that would put an end to the indigenous culture of an entire people. Though almost entirely motivated by greed and savagery, they got one thing right - the Aztec religion was based on warfare and human sacrifice. If it existed today, it would be the subject of the sort of attention that the fanatics of the "Islamic State" have recently received.

What makes me bring up this topic (and it was part of my special subject for A level history so I do know a little bit about it) is the story in today's Guardian that the president of Mexico has written to Spain's king Felipe VI asking for an apology for all the nastiness of the conquest. The Spanish government has rejected the idea. They could, of course, have acceded with something on the following lines.

"Dear El Presidente,
I hope you are well, we are all quite well here and looking forward to the summer hols.
My mum told me I am awfully sorry about the bad things that were done long ago by some of the big boys and promise not to do it again, really, even though it wasn't me and it wasn't my fault. I accept that you will stop my pocket money until the royal palace has been reconstructed.
Felipe R.

That might be enough to prevent hordes of swaggering, sombrero-wearing banditos from marching on the Spanish embassy before firing bullets into the air, swigging tequila and then slumping down in front of the cantina as a protest but it will surely open the floodgates. What else might we expect?

  • Descendants of King Harold demand compensation from Queen Elizabeth II for an eye-related injury caused by her distant ancestor.
  • "Romans must apologise for Iceni massacre" says leader of Norfolk Council.
  • The RSPCA sues God for forcing animals into unnatural living conditions on the Ark
 and no doubt you can think of others.

If you have been affected by any of the issues discussed in this piece and need counselling or if you feel you have the basis for a valid claim against any historical personage on any grounds whatsoever then call us now. Terms and conditions apply and will be based on either current or historic laws according to whatever is most to our advantage. Claims against fictional characters, aliens from Tharg and anyone from before the Ice Age will not be considered.

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