Wednesday, October 16, 2019

101 Things #14 - Same Day Jetaway

Travel ideas are highly popular with the makers of bucket lists so naturally my anti-list, 101 Things I Refuse To Do Before I Die is going to feature a few to ridicule. A fairly easy target is Lifelisted's recommendation to

Buy a same-day plane ticket to another country

Never mind the polluting effect of air travel. Consider the idea that, with the same ease with which one might purchase a coach ticket to, say, Windsor from Victoria station, take a seat on the bus and within an hour be banging on the Queen's door and asking her to put the kettle on, one can roll up at Heathrow, slam the wallet down at the British Airways desk and say "Put me on a plane, don't care where".

The first problem is to ensure you have a valid passport. It is sensible, though not essential to have travel insurance. You will certainly need a change of clothing and a toilet kit (if not a suitcase of such stuff) because once your plane is delayed, then takes off, then circles for a bit and finally lands hundreds of miles from anywhere and they put you up in some half-built hotel for the night, then you're going to need them. Do you speak the language where you're going? Do you have adequate rainwear/sun protection/anti malaria and hepatitus injections? Do you have sufficient money, in local currency, to pay for whatever it is you may find yourself eating, having staggered into a restaurant that is about to close, been given a menu you can't read and had the little sign saying "Cash only" pointed out and translated by a waiter who is getting ready to go to his night job as a bouncer?

Of course all the forgoing difficulties can be easily obviated if you plan the whole trip in advance, do some internet research and only buy your ticket when you know where you are going and why, have arranged for someone to pop in and feed the cats and remembered to bring (and to charge up) your phone, shaver and tablet. But then it would take away the whole point of the same-day experience - the joyful spontaneity, the delightful uncertainty of being whisked away somewhere at the drop of a hat ready to embrace whatever rich experiences life can supply.

Maybe the countries surrounding the homeland of the Lifelisted correspondent are easier to visit at ultra short notice. Perhaps they all speak his language, accept his cash and waive all entry requirements the moment they spot him looking wide-eyed around the arrivals terminal with that "Bloody hell, where the **** am I?" look. It doesn't work like that round these parts. I do not feel that I missing out on one of life's rich experiences by avoiding the airport.


Note
I have assumed that by "same-day" is meant that the trip is commenced on the day you decide to take it, not the alternative of a plane trip where the return leg is completed on the same day as departure. There is nothing romantic or heart-stoppingly exciting about this - I've done many a dull business trip in this way, early flight from London, clocks go forward, arrive at a main European city and onward to the office around lunchtime, a few hours of meetings then a lift back to the airport, flight home, clocks go back and a weary drive home having drunk too much strong black coffee and longing for a decent cup of tea. You spend more time in the airports or in the air than doing any work and you can't even get duty-frees any more.

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