Operator - We seem to be cut-off

 There's no fun like trying to contact a telecoms company that finds itself unable to communicate, or, worse, which sends out false information and then is uncontactable. 

Today's case study concerns my mobile phone provider. I will not identify them fully, just in case all this is a ghastly mistake at my end, but let us simply call them "Walkmobile".

I pay my account by direct debit on the 9th of each month. Today, the 6th, I received a text message saying "We've noticed you haven't paid your last bill. Take a look at your account..." and it went on to give a website link. Naturally, I was horrified to think that £7.50 remained unpaid from last month. I was pleased with the "We've noticed" bit; so much nicer than "Look here, you utter bastard, you owe us serious cash so pay up or kiss goodbye to your house, car and life savings" which, I am told, is the tone taken by some, less respectful, phone companies. Nonetheless, this seemed urgent. I checked my bank account. The last amount due had been paid on time.

Thinking that perhaps there was a problem with them verifying my bank details in advance of the current payment, I attempted to log on to my account. Their website refused to accept my login details. I checked them. They were correct, although I probably have not logged on for many years so perhaps they had expired. I requested a change of password. They said they would send, at once, a confirmation to my email address. Nothing happened. Half an hour later it still had not happened*

I called them. I was told (and you knew this would be the next line, didn't you?) "We are experiencing a high volume of calls at the moment". Oh, and they were unable to tell me roughly how long I might have to wait. This is a phone company, let me remind you, who make their business by operating, by phone, to their customers.

Their text message also suggested I set up an online account. I thought perhaps a glitch had separated my account details from the phone number. Using the number they supplied I tried to re-register, only to be told that the account number was already in use.

I went to their website and saw a webchat feature. "If you see an orange Chat Now sign then there are advisors available" it said. I saw the orange sign and filled in my info. "Please wait, we are connecting you" it said. This looked promising. Then it updated "All our advisors are busy. Estimated delay is 31 minutes".

I give up. I can't contact them by phone. I can't reset my account details so I cannot login. I cannot access them by webchat. I shall have to resign myself to the loss of house, car and life savings after all.

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* Update. The reset email did arrive, 2.5 hours afterwards. When I clicked on the link, it took me to a page that said the token was invalid or expired. 

**Update the next day: I received a grovelling text saying it was all down to a "clerical error" and the bailiffs had been called off. Phew! Those clerks, eh? I suppose someone's pen slipped and the wrong name got typed on to the list of people in default. Happens all the time in busy offices, I believe.