You may have spotted that I have been steadily compiling a list of aspirations that, whilst they may form part of the dreams and desires of others, fill me with disdain. The majority of such items have been culled by some painstaking research of the bucket lists of such people [Quick bit of Googling in between mindless YouTube browsings: Ed] and I am therefore careful to explain just why I deem each suitable for inclusion in 101 Things I Refuse To Do Before I Die.
No such need drives me today. I had no trouble in identifying one of today's key fashion trends that leaves me cold (and would leave cold in another sense, were I to try it). I will not now or at any time in the foreseeable future
Wear jeans with holes in
Yes, yes, I know that all jeans have three holes in, one that goes round the waist and two for the legs. I refer, of course, to rips and tears either inflicted by the wearers or, and this is the bit that I find weird, done by the manufacturers. People actually make jeans as normal garment and then cut them open and distress them. Consider these two beauties:
|Jeans by Shein. £16.99||Jeans by Mr Porter. £1040|
I am impressed that for just 1.6% of the price of a Porter you get a hell of lot more hole for your money from Shein. I also impressed that anyone would pay over £1000 for what looks amazingly like the jeans I used to keep for working in the garden, long after I had a bought a decent new pair. And that is as impressed as I am going to be. The idea of actually buying something ripped to pieces that looks filthy is a perfect commentary on our modern society - the first generation of humans in history to buy and wear clothes that every other generation would have rejected instantly as faulty.
I know that this a fashion trend but so what? I don't give a toss about it, I'm not going to wear them and I'm not going to admire anyone who does.
[That seems to be it, folks. He's slammed the study door with some mutterings about 'buggered if I'm going to waste any more time on this'. It doesn't look like there'll be the usual witty punchline. Sorry. Oh, by the way, clever title eh? Ripping as in ripped, Yarns as in the stuff they make clothes out of: Ed]