Saturday, January 11, 2020

101 Things #46 - Get Real

What's on your bucket-list of things you really want to do before it is too late? When you look back and flick through the photos, grandchildren gazing up admiringly, what will you tell them that will inspire them to fulfil their potential and to make the most of their own time while they can?

I'm pretty sure it will not be the suggestion on Bucket List Journey website to

Apply to be on a reality show

because, let's be honest here (and when I am anything else?), this is one of the most unambitious BL items I have ever seen. For this reason it is fitting to be considered for my still-expanding collection of anti-bucket list ideas that I modestly call 101 Things I Refuse To Do Before I Die.

Anyone can apply to be on a reality show. All that is required is to be able to fill in a form. Nothing truthful need be said nor do you have to have the slightest desire to be accepted. Enter some details, click the button (or stick a stamp on and post it) and you can rub your hands with the knowledge of a job well done. Hardly worth putting on your bucket list; hardly worth my while to mock it by including it in my own compendium.

Let us be charitable and assume that what the originator meant was "Go on a reality show". Now that is a very different proposition. To be a participant on Masterchef, or The Apprentice or Bake-off, or to be stuck on a desert island with a bunch of celebrity wannabees, you must meet the criteria specified by the show's producers; some demonstrable talent and achievements, or a dazzling smile, irritating Essex accent and shapely figure, depending on show.

I watch some of these shows either because it is interesting to watch people with skills that I do not possess engaging in a competition or to watch idiots such as those in The Apprentice bigging themselves up before failing spectacularly when they attempt to do something. And there we have the reason why Appearing on a Reality Show is a worthy addition to my set of undesirables, and since applying must precede appearing, why the former is included as well.

None of which militates against being on a reality show if one is invited to do so. A guest appearance as a judge on Masterchef perhaps, tucking into the rack of lamb with dauphinoise potatoes and pea puree, with a chocolate fondant to follow. I'd be happy to do a bit of that, sure. The studios are not too far from my home and they can send round the stretch limo with the complementary champagne any time they like.

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