Thursday, March 12, 2020

101 Things #74 - Teetering on the Edge

Readers! Have you been following this seemingly endless series of related pieces called 101 Things I Refuse To Do Before I Die? If you have then you will be familiar with the concept. I take an idea (often found on the internet) commending an activity as worthy of being your bucket-list and debunk it. Sometimes I take note of a common practice or belief. But today you are getting two for the price of one as I cunningly merge recommendations from two websites.

 Bucket List Journey reckons you should try jumping off a cliff. Backpacker's Tale is a little more cautious, opining that you should go cliff jumping anywhere it is safe. I don't care how many people are in favour. I am not going to

Jump off a cliff (safely or not).

I don't swim. This makes it fairly obvious why I shall be the bloke standing on the beach watching others hurtling over the edge of the heights above. Even if I did, I have a problem being too close to any drop, as you will know if you encountered my little piece about decorating. And a dodgy back so thumping down from a height, even into water, is not appealing.

As to the whole business of four seconds of "Hey, everyone look at me, I'm falling a hundred feet" followed by the long dull trudge up the path to do it again, forget it. I do hope that Bucket List Journey man takes note of the sensible attitude expressed by the Backpacker. Indiscriminate plunging into unknown waters does seem a trifle headstrong. A reasonable depth of water, absence of rocks, sharks and crocodiles and a benign current are all called for here, surely. Otherwise you may as well climb the nearest handy scaffolding and aim for a small bucket of water far below, and get it all over with, without the risk of months of painful and expensive treatment in a foreign hospital:-

"I am so sorry, señor, but you can no longer afford the anaesthetics. Or a bed. But fear not, señor, my friend Miguel has a very nice shack near the cement works where we can continue your treatment. Perhaps another time you will not venture over the Death Leap Cliff, huh?"

Of course, if we define a cliff to mean any sort of natural drop we might manage to defuse the whole plummet-to-your-doom situation. On the other hand it probably does need to be a bit more impressive than a diving board height.

I can happily live out the rest of days without shedding one second of regret that I never fell off a cliff. Admiring them from below, fine. Gazing out over the view from the top, absolutely fine. Managing a profitable little ice-cream stall for those struggling on the way up, just the ticket. But I am not going to take a running jump, no matter much how my detractors might plead.

No comments:

Post a Comment