Call for Carroll

 As we seem to be living in some mad inverted version of reality, with chancellors being fired for carrying out the agreed policy, and home secretaries finding a flimsy excuse to resign, and prime ministers going nowhere one day and resigning the next, there is only one man to whom we may reliably turn for assistance in getting some sort of grasp, however feeble, on what the hell is going on.

The LizTruss and the Chancellor
were walking down the Mall
"With taxes cut there must be growth"
The LizTruss told her pal
"And as for those who tell us 'no'
I say let's sack 'em all".

"Perhaps the Bank of England might..."
The Chancellor began.
"God rot them all" the LizTruss said
"They're useless, every man.
Let's waste no time in cracking on
We have the perfect plan".

"Oh markets, come and join with us"
The LizTruss did beseech
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk
And I have much to preach"
"She's always right" The Chancellor said
"Keep quiet and let her teach".

The LizTruss and the Chancellor
Continued down their road.
But one by one the moneymen
remained in their abode.
"She's sowing doom" their faces said
"The markets will implode".

"The time has come" the LizTruss said
"To talk of many things
Of budgets, debt and fuel costs
Of reckless spending flings
And why the rich will save us all
And whether pigs have wings".

"But wait a bit" the markets cried
"Before you choose this path.
It doesn't seem to work at all
Has no-one done the math?"
"Keep quiet" snarled the Chancellor
"Or else you'll feel my wrath"

The LizTruss and the Chancellor
Discovered, to their cost
That people need to understand
And not feel double-crossed
The pressure grew, the storm it blew
And both were media-tossed.

And as the waves engulfed their boat
The Chancellor was caught
Discharged into the foaming waves
Their recklessness had bought
And now alone the LizTruss stood
Though all had come to naught.

The LizTruss and the Chancellor
No longer can be seen
Now others try to hide the tracks
Of where their steps had been
And scratch their chins and try to learn
Whatever did it mean?