Down the Black Rabbit Hole

 This is about the scientific idea of black holes. Not holes made by black rabbits: Ed

 

A typical YouTube page 
when searching for Black Holes

 

There has been much excitement, and speculation, in the physics/ cosmology community in recent months about findings that suggest our universe is rotating. Let me summarise:

• Galaxies normally rotate. This is thought to be because the vast clouds of hydrogen and helium in which they are formed were rotating. Such rotations might have been down to random movements of stuff when the universe was way younger and hotter than it is now.
• It had always been assumed that nature had no preference for the direction of rotation. Therefore roughly half of all galaxies should go one way and half the other.
• Recent studies, such as this, show that about two-thirds of galaxies go one way and one-third the other. This variance is far too big to be explained by random factors. It suggests that the entire observable universe has a preference for a rotational direction.
• If this is so, then something at the start of space-time ( the "big bang") gave the universe a nudge.
• This implies something that included the universe within itself.
• Black holes are known to rotate and the physics of these things, twisting time and space around their, possibly infinitely small, centres, is so weird I am not even going to try to understand it. But the point is, was that initial nudge from a rotating black hole within which our universe is embedded? 

And there we have it. It is being theorised that our universe is bounded by a black hole because only a rotating black hole could be big enough to impart enough spin to our universe. A black hole massively bigger than our universe.

There are obvious, massive, problems that must be faced. Black holes are things where gravity is so strong it crushes matter into a form we cannot currently comprehend. Vast jets of radiation and particles are hurtled into space from the stuff that approaches and then whirls around, the event horizon, the invisible sphere within which nothing can escape the pull of the singularity at the heart of the black hole.

Where then are the mind-blowing distortions of spacetime that the universe sized hole in which we live must create? The galaxy ripping jets of radiation from the hellfire of its event horizon?

However my question is a bit more outre. If we are indeed inside a black hole, then what is that hole inside? Do we have an unlimited number of universes, each containing black holes that in turn contain universes. There is no reason to think our universe is special so why not? And are there universes within the myriad black holes within our universe? 

Quantum mechanics has long had its "many worlds" interpretation of what happens each time there is a quantum event with more than one possible outcome.  It says that every possible outcome creates a new universe. Given that massive numbers of quantum events happen all the time, this would create a number of universes so big it is probably not possible to compute it. So an infinite (or, at any rate, pretty damn big) number of universes, each nested in one bigger, is a respectable idea, rather than the droolings of a chronically tea-deprived hack columnist.

Trouble is, all this is just speculation. The YouTube videos with their click-bait titles and fancy graphics, are exactly the same as medievalists arguing about angels and pin-heads. We have absolutely no way of knowing.

A completely different approach is to assume each black hole creates an equal and opposite white hole in a separate but connected universe. Matter and energy gush out of the white hole in such a way that intelligent beings eons later will interpret it as a big bang. It's fascinating and once more we have absolutely no way of knowing. No actual white holes have been detected - quasars used to be candidates but these are either rotating black holes or neutron stars. However, maybe each white hole creates its own, unique, universe so we should not expect to see one except, of course, for the one that started us. 

 

Meanwhile we are being told variously that time is an illusion, that time has three dimensions and is fundamental (but space is not), that gravity is quantum, that gravity cannot be quantized and that scientists have succeeded in "teleporting" things back in time and that time travel is no longer a mystery, just an "engineering problem". Back in the real world of engineering, the most advanced spacecrafts of our time blow up on the launch site. The casual onlooker (me) hoping for a greater understanding of science ends up more baffled than ever. 

I wrote this piece because the torrent of speculation on YouTube and other media outlets is incessant and increasingly irritating. No sooner has a new piece of data been received than it seems that a new theory will be dreamed up and popularised, often with the utterly misleading strapline "Scientists prove ....". Nothing is being proved right now. Observations may assist in rejecting ideas that don't work but they rarely prove anything outright. A few months of no new theories being breathlessly announced would be really refreshing.

Auditors Ahoy

 A few years ago I found some pleasure in the story of the Vatican needing to be audited. I could relate to it, based on my own experiences in that field (auditing, that is, not the office of Christ's vicar on earth). Today another news item seems to remind me of the good old days when I worked for a small partnership of Chartered Accountants. But with this one we are no longer close to heaven but all at sea.

The fee for the audit will be a very significant part of the total income of the new auditors, a firm with just two qualified auditors according to their own website. Who the other two people are that make up the four mentioned in the news clip is not clear. One news report quotes the firm as saying they can pull in lots of staff as required.  I think we have enough material to be able accurately to construct how this tiny and makeshift concern will tackle the mighty P & O job.

Scene: Offices in Dover harbour. Gulls wheel about. Large boats slide in and out of the docks. The traditional cries of immigration officers, such as "There's one, Henderson, after him, my lad!" and "Excuse me, sir, I can't help noticing there are several people looking out of the boot of your car", drift up to a dusty back room. 

Enter Mr Farquarhson, manager, George, audit senior and Tarquin, trainee ¹

Farquarhson: Right, here we are. Let's not waste too much time. This is a very important job for the firm and the client has made it clear that there could be more, if we do it right. KPMG couldn't hack it but we can! Now, they are bringing all the books here. There's no need for us to visit any other of their offices or to ask a lot of unnecessary questions of their accounting people, they're terribly busy and I know we can rely utterly on whatever the directors tell us. Of course, we must show we are totally independent and that might mean doing a bit of digging.

George: Seems perfectly straightforward to me. They run some ships. We just need to tot up the takings, check a few numbers and do the usual systems review.

Farquarhson: The accounts are here, on the back of this envelope. George, run them through the adding machine, make sure it all balances. Young Tarquin, I have a special job for you. We need to verify the assets. P & O say they have eight ferries. Keep a close eye out of the window and write down the names of all the boats you see.

Tarquin: Golly, sounds a bit tricky.

George: Use a clean sheet of paper, list each boat on a new line and tick them off...green ink, I think, for this one

Farquarhson: Good choice, George. Now, they have a lot of duty-free stock that we need to count. Their MD has asked me to come with him on a test routine of the single malt whiskies, so I shall be out most of the day. You two can do the beers and so forth tomorrow.

Tarquin: There's one!

George: Just write it down, Tarquers, we don't need to know each time. And watch out for duplicates,  those boats go back and forth, you know

Tarquin: Gosh, really? That is awkward. I can see why KPMG walked away.

Farquarhson: As I was saying, let's have a good look at the stocks, count the lifeboats, you know the drill. And, George, on Thursday, we could post Tarquin on top of the cliffs, just to make sure there aren't any ferries sneaking out of any secret harbours. I've brought some binoculars and a folding seat for him.

George: That is smart. Makes me wonder if we should nip over to Calais, do the same thing  there

Farquarhson: No need. You know the firm can always bring in additional resources if required. We've engaged Les Auditeurs Superbe of Boulogne, that's Jean-Claude Baguette and his uncle, to have a quick look.

George: Crikey, Mr F., the firm has thought of everything

Farquarhson: We may be small but we can mix it with the best, George. Now there's one very important matter that needs to be addressed directly. Tarquin!

Tarquin: Mr F?

Farquarhson: Mine's a black Americano, two sugars

George: Large latte 

Farquarhson: Off you go, lad, the cafe is on the upper deck of Maid of Kent, moored over there, and for God's sake get off before it sails.

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1. Yes, it is the same crew who did the Catholic job and I make no apologies, it takes effort creating these wonderfully realistic and well-rounded characters and I'm going to recycle them every chance I get.