You're absholved, oshifer

In the middle ages in England, anyone accused of a serious crime could avoid the death penalty by pleading that they were a cleric. The test was to ask them to read a line from the Bible on the grounds that literacy was sure proof of a priestly education.

In these modern days that test is no longer much help and anyway the law is the same for men (and women) of the cloth and the rest of us. Or is it? Here's one man who firmly believes in the Benefit of Clergy. Stand up, (if you're sober enough), our hero Gareth Jones who, despite his important post as vicar of Saint Mary the Virgin at Great Ilford, told the police where to get off when they found him being drunk and extremely disorderly. Not content with having a go at a paramedic, he then lashed out at the police who were attempting to restrain him, although he was too drunk to stand up.

At one point he shouted “I have diplomatic immunity”. When asked from which embassy, replied: “The Vatican, you’re fucked.”

 Many of us have long suspected that the Church was moving closer to Rome. With this confirmation that the career of a serving police officer is about to be investigated by the Curia, and the threat of excommunication hanging over Scotland Yard, we have the proof.