I had not heard of the Minister for Small Business before today and the only reason his name has been brought to my attention is because he has resigned. Ministers are toppling rather fast these days, thanks to the split in the Conservative Party over Brexit that is reminiscent of the old Tory party tearing itself to bits over the repeal of the Corn Laws. However our man has handed back his despatch box and the keys to the Ministerial Rover for a different reason. During the past two weeks he has apparently sent over 2000 text messages of a sexual nature to two ladies, one of whom leaked the story to the Sunday Mirror.
I read the story without giving it much of a second thought because politicians and sexual scandal go together like a long ball forward and a hefty defender intercepting it (if I may shoehorn my final comment on England at the World Cup into this unrelated piece, thanks for bearing with me). I then had a second thought, which was this: How much work is it to send 2000 texts (on several platforms, I may add) in such a short space of time? Presumably our man sleeps and does other things, such as turning up at his office to approve whatever his Permanent Secretary says before enjoying a long lunch at his club and then sitting on the green benches in the Commons nodding vigorously at each twist and turn of Mrs May's vain attempts to hold her fractious party together. So let us assume his messaging is confined to a mere six hours a day. That means over 23 messages an hour. One every three minutes or so. Almost non-stop pecking away with his thumb whilst. I assume, giving the impression of being really hard at work on important Government business and dealing with the problems of his constituents.This shows real dedication to his craft. Imagine if he had spent all that energy and creativity on assisting small businesses.
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