When one rather unusual name, with a certain amount of risible potential, comes into public view, then the columnist seeking inspiration may put it behind his ear, reserved for future use. When two such names are furnished, one begins to feel the need to record them for posterity.
A couple of weeks ago some political machinations in Northern Ireland brought to the fore one Edwin Poots as leader of the Democratic Unionist Party. Within a matter of days further machinations unseated him. I naturally wished to record this in the traditional way and had begun composing lines in this sort of fashion:
So farewell then Edwin Poots.
I wonder who will fill your boots
And lead the DUP?You'd scarcely put down any roots
When others, acting in cahoots
Marooned you out at sea.
etc etc
But the second silly name overshadows poor old Edwin. For famous sprinter Usain Bolt has become the father of twin boys and has named one of them Thunder and the other - well - it clearly should have been Lightning but the poor mite has been landed with Saint Leo. I don't know if there is a Saint Leo Bolt in the Christian pantheon but it seems unlikely. Is this an attempt to forestall objections from the Vatican and book the youngster's place in Heaven? If so, seems a bit unfair on his brother, doomed to be be the butt of jokes from henceforth whenever he has to announce his moniker to strangers.
What else could St. Leo have been dubbed? Nutsand? Latch? Door? There must be something snappy but I can't think of it right now.
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