Dr. Commuter writes: I gather that English Premier League football team Manchester United are currently doing less well than they or their fans would wish, and that they are seeking aid from kindly souls such as Mr Ferdinand (pictured above).
I can save a whole point from the list, whatever it may contain, and thereby allow United more time to pack in extra football action. Here is my exclusive five-point plan for Mr ten Hag or anyone else to exploit as they wish.
- Get a decent goalie. Goalies can help prevent the opposition from scoring goals
- Get a decent defence. Defenders not only prevent goals from being scored against but can link up with the midfield (see below)
- Get a decent midfield. Midfielders can link up with the defence (see above) and the forwards (see below) to help control the game and enable their side to score more goals than the others do
- Get some decent forwards. Forwards can score goals and force the opposition to commit resources to defending, thereby relieving the pressure on the midfield (see above) and defence (see further above).
- Er, that's it. Just do all the above and you can save a further valuable point.
We seem to have ended up with a four-point plan and it may be possible to reduce it still further by judiciously inserting the word "player". Thus we may restate the entire plan in one succinct statement.
- Get some decent players.
I think that will do for now.
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If you are a sporting manager in need of advice, do please contact Dr. Commuter at the usual address. Offers of free season tickets and attendance at prestige sporting events will not be rejected.
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