Tube English 1

I suffer from an unusual medical condition. I listen to the announcements on the underground, and I consider what they say, and what they are trying to say. Take this one, heard regularly when a train reaches its destination.

"This train terminates here. Please take all your personal belongings with you"

All of my belongings are personal. So are yours. Everything is a belonging of someone or something. So why emphasise the word personal? Are they saying that you should leave behind the belongings of someone else that you happen to have brought with you? Or should you ignore the property of your employer (a laptop computer, say) that you are taking home? Nope, I think they would prefer that all belongings are removed from the train.

A stick in the door

I was told off by a tube driver earlier this week. But I don't care. I was on a London-bound train coming into Harrow-on-the-Hill (What a stupid name, it's at the foot of the hill) and as we pulled in a "fast" train was at the adjacent platform. Lots of people left my train to cross over since they would save about 2 minutes on their journey thereby, but I being comfortable stayed put. Then our driver announced the train was terminating there. So I joined the migration only to have the doors of the other train shut in my face.
But, and here's the crux, since I am still walking with the aid of my aged mother's stick, I was able to whip it out and prevent the doors from closing, whilst waving at the driver with the other hand. After a few grudging seconds he opened the doors and let me, and any other slower moving passengers, aboard.
'Twas then that he announced that passengers should not obstruct the doors as it caused delays. Well, sod him. What about me being stranded on the platform thanks to his cavalier attitude? Why was there no co-operation between the drivers? Why the hell don't the platform staff ensure that if a train is taken out of service, passengers forced to alight are given some consideration?
Actually I feel even angrier about this now than I did at the time, and if that driver comes withing range of my stick, I may just let it fall where it will do the most good, if you get my drift

Just to get you up to date

Not too much to report since my last bulletin, which to my shame I see was a month ago. Recovery from the twin problems of a damaged foot and blood clots in the lungs has continued, the latter faster. Little signs of improvement manifest themselves all the time. I am back at work and hope to be full time next week, the district nurses, who have done a wonderful job dressing the wounds since my discharge from hospital, have refused to come again because I am too fit, and the warfarin tablets seem to be getting the blood levels back to normal.

The final hurdle is for my big toe to heal. This is still in a state that I will not describe online and when bandaged, is too big to fit comfortably into a shoe. Men wearing sandals and socks are supposed to be fashion rejects, but let me tell you, some of us have no choice. Lucky it's summertime. I would not care to stroll through the wet or slush covered streets of beautiful Ruislip wearing my trusty old Clarks.

Returning to reality (whatever that is)

I'm finally back to work on a sort of occasional, restricted hours basis. I dare not travel in the rush hours because it is essential that I have a seat, and avoid all risks of anyone standing on or kicking my injured foot, on the 50 minute journey 'twixt beautiful Ruislip and Waterloo. And the effort of getting to work, as well as being there, is very tiring. So I'm doing a few hours, every three days or so, and working as much as possible at home the rest of the time.

It is quite pleasant to travel down mid morning in trains barely half full. Coming home they seem to be crowded no matter what time I choose to depart. But actually the idea of the "rush hour" is very out of date. Huge numbers travel at all times, apart from very early and very late. I can recall when the evening trains would be full of suited men with briefcases rushing home to their dinners in the suburbs (Thank you Mr Betjeman, we'll let you know: Ed). There are a few left, of course, but the travelling public is now representative of the general public, and in world that increasingly works all hours and all days, the transport system is going to do the same.

Lines from a sofa - 2

I've been out of hospital for a week now and all being well will not need to go back (unlike the previous two occasions within the last month). I'm not even confined to the sofa anymore. Both foot and lungs are healing and mobility, in a limited way, has returned. Arm-chairs, dining chairs, even garden chairs, there is no restriction on the form of seating that is now available.

The commuting experience remains the short and tedious journey 'twixt home and Hillingdon Hospital. On Saturday I was called in by letter for a blood test, only to discover once there that the clinic is shut at weekends. Terrific stuff, very good for the blood pressure. The NHS equivalent of being told that all train services are running normally only to find, a few stops down the line, that your destination is unreachable by the normal route and a huge detour beckons. It's just like being on the Piccadilly again.