That's About The Size Of It

 

I have commented before on the pleasures of trying to interpret the mangled straplines attached to pictures on the screen that displays when swiping left on my tablet. It's a sort of potpourri of snippets culled from news media. Each story gets the same space so the longer the strapline, the more it is truncated, leaving us to ponder what we are missing.

I, of course, ignored the bit from the Oxford Mail about a non-existent chateau and the bit at the bottom about butterflies and went straight for the jugular. A name hitherto unknown to this column, M. Jean-Luc Mélenchon and his appeal to young French voters. An appeal that is perhaps about to be jeopardised by ... well, this is where we must speculate.  "... realise the size o" is a phrase to ponder, slowly, over a coffee. 

Let us consider the word that begins with "o". I assume it is "of". But the size of what? Here are some suggestions

• his overdraft
• his ego
• his swimming pool
• his new electric SUV
• the beef and pickle sandwich he invariably has for lunch 

Some of our coarser readers will, no doubt, assume that the item in question must be a certain, shall we say, personal, aspect  - we are talking about France, after all - but surely in the 21st century people no longer judge a man by the size of his nose. Indeed, some people with a bit to spare in the schnozzle department have been successful in politics. General de Gaulle had a massive hooter and he got away with it. Anyway, judging by the photo, our man seems normal enough and I really do not see why the next generation of Gallic voters should take exception to it.

I suppose I could click on the link and undercover the mystery. But, dedicated though we at Ramblings Towers are to the thorough examination of the facts, I think I shall just leave it hanging and let you, my loyal readers, have your say.

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READERS! What is M. Mélenchon hiding? How big is the mysterious thing that everyone is getting so worked up about? Send in your suggestions, with pictures or diagrams if you must, to the usual address. The most entertaining and yet, somehow, plausible will win an Editor's Award. 

Terms and Conditions most certainly apply. Amongst them is the bit that says that the Editor's Award shall be an attestion that the Award has been given. It may or may not be written on a scrap of paper or could just be emailed, or perhaps posted somewhere obscure on social media. No other prize, voucher, docket, token or item of value shall be awarded and it's no use protesting and organising flash mobs, the decision has been made.