101 Things #13 - Country & Western

With this addition to my slowly growing series 101 Things I Refuse To Do Before I Die, we venture into dangerous territory. For today I am forced¹ to make it clear that I intend never, voluntarily, to

Listen to Country & Western Music

 
I don't know if it's the dullness of the subject matter or the monotony of those twangy guitars or the dressing up in cowboy hats and boots but no C&W record has ever touched me, startled me or enthused me. Every piece is a song - I have never heard any instrumentals in this format and certainly not a shred of musicality from the musicians. The drums thud gently in the background and the guitars are played in the foreground but always as a background for a singer and the songs are always a verse and a chorus and a verse and a chorus then maybe a middle eight (if that's the right expression) and then a verse and a chorus. The songs are always short and never develop - it's the same tune to the end.

The men are always a'cheatin on their womenfolk. The greatest love a man can have is for his faithful ol' horse, or maybe his loyal ol' hound. Or hound-dog. A woman stands by her man until it is time to divorce him. Or run away to Reno. The roads are always dirt and the vehicles trucks. It's important not to cross the county line, or the state line, to stay on the right side of the sheriff and keep out of the county jail. Everyone drinks whiskey. Or perhaps red, red wine. There is always a preacher somewhere in the background (never a priest or a bishop or a padre or an imam or a rabbi or a guru, always a sodding preacher).

C&W is much beloved in its home territory of the southern United States and there it seems firmly stuck. I don't live there, have no desire to visit, don't like the "good ol' boy redneck" culture with which it is associated and, having done a few searches online, am delighted that loads of people agree with me.



Footnote:
1. Forced by my conscience that is. No threat of violence or coercion has been made against me in regard to this matter, let me make clear right away. I simply could not sleep at night if this item had been omitted from the list, even though it is unlikely to be on anyone's bucket list of things to do before they die. I am sure that aficionados of C&W may have earnest desires to visit the birthplaces of their idols before they snuff it (the aficionados, that is) but that is not my concern here. Obviously, given all the forgoing, I am not going to be troubling the travel agents with requests for tickets to such places.