Utterly Pointless Scare of the Day

I like to keep up to date with computer related news, a hangover from the days when it was necessary as part of my job. Thus it was that a headline in the Daily Express (a newspaper I only take for its excellent Princess Diana coverage) caught my attention. The story was about problems with an update to Windows 10. This is itself of interest since I run that operating system. I skimmed down it and was then taken aback to read the following:

And if that wasn’t bad enough, the latest Windows 10 update is also breaking a bevy of 16-bit apps written in Visual Basic 3, which can be revived after the update is uninstalled. If you rely on applications powered by Visual Basic 3 for your day-to-day, it’s probably worth steering clear of the latest software for the time being.

I read this a couple of times, tried to get my mind out of boggling mode and looked again. The words were still there. The Express is concerned about people who use 16 bit applications (or programmes, as we would have called them) written in the Visual Basic 3 programming language and who are running them 'for day to day', whatever that means, on a computer which has Windows 10 as its operating system.

Visual Basic was introduced around 1991. At the time Windows 2, then Windows 3 were in common use. Many of us made serious use of  Windows 3.1 but with the introduction of Windows 95 all serious programmes were rewritten to take advantage of its 32 bit architecture. Windows 10, like its predecessors 8 and 7, is a 64 bit system. These numbers really matter. The step from 16 to 32 and then 64 bit computing enormously increases the speed and capability of software.

It is possible to run 16 bit programmes on a 64 bit computer (by running them in 'emulation' mode) but I defy the Express to find anyone, anyone at all, in the entire world, who does so for 'day to day'. Maybe for running stuff of historic interest perhaps or to amuse students of software architecture. Visual Basic apps tended to be databases, information systems or programmes used by business that anyone taking seriously would certainly update regularly. VB itself was regularly updated until version 6 in 1998; after that the software ceased to be backwardly compatible.

So now you can see why those amazing words 'And if that wasn't bad enough ....' are utterly ludicrous, as if people hit by other bugs in Windows 10 updates are also going to be hit by the breaking of software written 25 years ago, an huge amount of time in terms of the speed of computing development. I'm struggling to find an analogy. Maybe the Express could run the following scare stories:

• Starting handle owners hit as new models of cars 'just don't need them'
• Blank telegram form stockists 'may have to ditch the lot' say experts
• Red flag makers facing ruin following repeal of The Locomotive Act 1865
• Confectioners 'baffled and dismayed' at yet another change in the naming of Marathon/Snickers
• DVDs do not work on gramophones shock
• Pensioners bemoan loss of in-house gas lighting. "I always enjoyed going round with a taper and taking the risk of blowing myself up" claims granny of eight.

That's me done for the night, this story can go to press. I'm going to have one last go at trying to make my steam pump fit inside the Toyota.