Touch me, touch me*

London Underground is making a big fuss about the need correctly to ticket one’s journey if using an Oyster card. They want people to “touch in” and “touch out”, as they like to put it, on the machines that read the cards as you enter or leave a station. Trouble is, they don’t seem to understand their own system. They keep making a half-witted announcement that “If you don’t touch in and touch out, then will pay the maximum cash fare”. Wrong. If you fail to touch in but touch out then you will pay the max fare. And ditto if you touch in but do not touch out. But if you neither touch in nor touch out then London Underground has no record of your journey and you will pay the grand sum of nothing whatsoever. Unless you are caught by an inspector, and when was the last time you saw one of those?

*Older readers will surely recall Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mich and Tich’s immortal hit. Or not.