Sterling crisis hits England

No, not a run on the pound or desperate defensive measures by the Bank of England. The story gripping the nation this morning concerns a young football player who, on the eve of a European Championship qualifier against Estonia asked to be stood down because "he was a bit tired and had had a late night and eaten too many pies because some of the older players had taken him to a fashionable pie bar in Tallinn and he hadn't wanted to look weedy so he went for the dreaded beef, eel and oberwurst special and anyway his mum has written a note, and it wasn't fair because some of the bigger boys had nicer coloured boots than him and his were new and hurt a bit, and his socks kept falling down because the garter elastic his aunt had sewed was coming loose and he had a headache and the champagne on the flight must have been a bit funny because after two bottles he didn't want any more...".  Ah. Bless. Early night, son and take the rest of the week off. You only get paid a few million a year for playing 90 minutes of football a week. God knows it's not enough and, on behalf of the supporters who watched the game on TV at home and found other things to do after twenty minutes rather than put up with any more tedium, get well soon.