The Hype Starts Here

You'd think they'd have learned by now. But no. Every time England play anyone in a football tournament, any fair assessment of their chances go out of the window and is replaced by a wild optimism worthy of the most swivel-eyed Brexiteer. This time the culprit is newly-appointed captain Harry Kane and, in the finest traditions of those to whom history is about Henry VIII chucking chicken legs over his shoulder, he has declared that victory is the goal. But that is not all. Tottenham Hotspur's star striker has nailed his colours very firmly to the mast.

I believe we can win it - anyone can. I cannot sit here and say we are not going to win it because we could do ... Anything else is not good enough

Them's fighting words, Mister. Anything else, eh? Should England qualify for the final (imagine it, actually being in the final, we've not been there for 52 long and miserable years) but not win then Harry will have failed by his own words and even though he might have scored some memorable goals, led his team to trounce others much more favoured to win and demonstrated a pride in his country's cause that would make every true-hearted Englishman rise to his feet, he will nevertheless stand down, flee shamefully back to the airport and arrive home with a blanket over his head as grim-faced minders whisk him away to an unknown destination. Or at least, that is what his words strongly imply. Not winning is not good enough.

Far be it from me to be unduly sceptical about England's chances (although I was pretty damn accurate in predicting our performance in the 2014 World Cup and not far off it 2 years later in the Euros) but I cannot help thinking that our 'Arry has let the pressure get to him. This is what he should have said

We know how to do back passes. We know how to hit the ball effortlessly to the heads of the opposing backs. We are unrivalled at crossing the ball to a man who arrives two seconds too late to make contact. Let us go boldly out and the show the world we can DO IT AGAIN. My target is to make the last 32. Anything else is not good - what? We've done it? Brill, I can stand down with my dignity intact, job done.