The Binface Effect

 

Source: The Guardian

As forecast exclusively in this column, Count Binface achieved an astonishing result in the Clacton byelection. With 9,455 votes, the Count beat all the other candidates combined by nearly 6,000 votes. Apart from one N. Farage who received 22,000.

Sadly, Farage was not present at the declaration nor at the grand victory party supposed to have been held afterwards, on a deserted airfield nearby (apparently). He is probably licking his lips nervously and erasing incriminating files off his phone as the parliamentary review into his affairs (now he is once more an MP) recommences this very morning.